My husband and I have been married just over 10 years. He has always been emotionally aloof, but even more so after my latest tragedy, a car accident which almost killed me. When we first began dating, he WOULD do nice things for me – buy me flowers, jewelry etc. However, I did not even get a wedding ring when we were married, and I still do not have one to this day. I’ve asked him if we can renew our wedding vows and get rings, but he never says yes. I told him simply, maybe we need a divorce. He is strongly against that, but since he doesn’t seem to care about me, I can’t figure out why. He has medical insurance; I don’t. So I’m suffering constantly from the effects of my car accident (I have TBI – traumatic brain injury – post concussive syndrome, three broken ribs, whiplash injuries, permanent neck injuries and permanent eye injuries). The time I needed support the most was after this accident but he wouldnt even take me to the E.R. because he had an "important job" that he had to finish which took 6 days (he is self-employed and could have taken the time to take me to the ER but didnt). I’ve gotten get-well cards from everyone but him – even people I don’t know. I have never once received flowers from him. I’ve literally begged him to help me: to get me ice packs when I need them, to get me my medicine – but he grumbles if he has to pay for it, or outright yells at me if I need to see my doctor (it takes out valuable time from his work). But if he needs ot see his doctor, he doesn’t blink an eye or complain about it – and his usually takes a whole day because its further away. He never says "I love you" unless I have to say it first. He’s said mean things to me like no one else would want me, even though other guys clearly find me attractive. He gives me NO money. In fact since February (it is now September) he has given me a total of .00. I’ve explained I need money like everyone else, but it does no good. He has credit cards; I do not – mostly because he ran up debt in my name and never paid it – but he paid his off. I am heartbroken. I just want someone to love me, someone to care about me – and I thought when you get married, you have a friend for life. But with a friend like him, who needs an enemy? I cannot leave, as right now 1) I have no money, no bank account (he has one) and no savings; 2) I am so sick sometimes I cannot even get out of bed. I have PTSD (from the car accident) and I have no family (they were abusive) and no friends (they ditched me after the car accident because I couldn’t do the things I used to do with them anymore so they moved on). I feel like there is no one on my side. I even called a Suicide Hotline and the guy on the phone said he didn’t have any more time to talk. I feel like no one cares, and if I were to commit suicide, no one would really care – especially not my husband. HELP please…
Miss Kandy:
I am not on a pity trip. I have been diagnosed with permanent irreversible brain damage, and will never be able to work at my job again. I cannot do the things I used to do. I suffer from chronic pain – and all of the doctors I’ve seen said it will be 10 years before I recover IF i recover. Try walking in someone else’s shoes before you judge.
Kizdrop:
Thank you so much for your compassion, and all of the good advice – I think I will go to the hospital if things don’t improve. Thank you again. It’s people like you who truly help other people. I wish you the best.
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